Muslims and Addiction Part 2/4: How I Control Addictions
Asalamualaikum,
my name’s Farooq and welcome to this get-together: Muslins and Addiction Part 2: How I Control My Addictions.
If you haven’t checked out my other video, Muslims and Addiction Part 1, I recommend you do so before continuing, so that you have proper context inshAllah.
So just In recent years, there’s been a growing interest in the role of neuroscience in understanding addiction and its triggers.
I’m going to show you a strategy that I use on a daily basis, that helps me keep a challenging addiction under control.
Now why would I say I’m going to show you a strategy that I use?
Why do I still need it?
Why haven’t I beat the addiction once and for all?
Well, addiction has a dark secret, and knowing this secret might shock you, but inshAllah it will also empower you.
May Allah reward you for being curious.
Let’s tie our 🐪
Chapter One: Fingers on the Triggers
Now I’m sure you’ve heard the word triggered
It’s used all over the internet, but usually in the context of anger.
So when someone refers to being triggered, they’re referring to someone getting triggered into a kind of rage.
I’m not referring to that kind of trigger.
InshAllah, I’m going to discuss Addiction triggers, which refer to any internal or external stimuli that lead to a person's addictive behavior.
Internal and external stimuli are the two ways in which dopamine is triggered to push us toward an addictive substance or behavior.
I think it might help if we go over some examples of internal and external stimuli, then I’ll share my own story and how I keep them under control.
There may be some overlap from the previous blog, but this can be good to help drive home the points.
There are three examples of Internal Stimuli:
Emotions: Specifically Strong emotions like stress, anxiety, depression, and loneliness.
These emotions can trigger addictive behavior as the brain's reward system releases dopamine in response to these emotions.Trauma: Traumatic experiences, be it verbal or physical abuse, or psychological or emotional neglect as a child, can cause the brain's reward system to release excessive amounts of dopamine - leading to addiction because it causes individuals to seek and recreate the pleasurable feelings associated with the initial dopamine surge.
Genetics: Some of us are just born with certain genetic factors that can make us more susceptible to addiction by affecting the way the brain processes dopamine.
It’s important to know that genetics don’t have to define us.
Many professionals like to give the example of genetics being the gun, and our diet and lifestyle being the trigger.
Now let’s look at four examples of External Stimuli.
Drugs and alcohol: Substance use can cause an over-stimulation of the brain's reward system, leading to addiction as individuals seek to recreate the pleasurable feelings associated with the substance they’re using.
Social environment: Peer pressure, social norms, and cultural factors can influence addictive behavior by promoting substance use as a way to fit in or cope with stress.
Technology: The use of technology, such as social media, video games, or online gambling, can lead to addiction as the brain's reward system is activated by the pleasure associated with these activities.
Food: Highly palatable foods, such as those that are highly refined containing seed oils, carbohydrates msg, and sugars, can activate the brain's reward system, leading to addiction-like behaviors, such as compulsive eating, and excessive snacking, referred to as grazing.
An example of our social environment as an external stimulus could be when trying to avoid sweets at get-togethers.
It’s essential to really understand that you are the average of your friends.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “A man follows the religion of his friend, so each one should consider whom he makes his friend.”
This includes who you want to become as a person, in regard to health, income, and family.
I’ll have a blog on this topic soon inshAllah.
Keep in mind that when I use the word compulsive, I’m referring to the inability to resist said substance or behavior.
Not to be confused with obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Chapter Two: He’s Our Open Enemy
All of these types of stimuli trigger dopamine when we're thinking of their associated addiction.
For example with sugar, an internal trigger might be a sense of feeling weak, shaky hands, light-headed, or being hangry.
An external trigger might be seeing, pizza, soda, or a donut.
These internal and external triggers will release dopamine, making you susceptible to consuming it even though it’s bad for you.
Add to that, shaytan whispering to you to eat it, and we may just find it impossible to resist.
And yes, shaytan promotes all behavior and actions that are harmful to us.
He’s our open enemy.
We can actually use this understanding to our advantage in helping us control our addiction.
One of the positives of addiction is that what works to control one, can work to control many because the most common addictions play on dopamine.
So all of these types of addictions can be reigned in with behavioral changes.
Alright, now let’s talk about my addictions,
I acquired several in my jahiliyyah.
I know it’s not good to expose my shortcomings from my jahiliyyah, seeing how Allah forgave me when I reverted to Islam,
but I feel compelled to share at least one from my past so that you know I’m speaking from experience and not just writing a prescription.
I also want you to know that I can truly empathize with you because I’ve been there and done just about anything you can think of before Islam.
That said, of these addictions, I’m gonna focus on one, because like I said, strategies that work for one, work for most of them inshAllah.
Chapter Three: My Early Vice
So what was one of the things I struggled with?
Nicotine.
I use to smoke many years ago starting at the age of 14, and the longer I smoked, the more I thought I’d never be able to quit.
It’s very difficult to quit.
Again, as much as I don't want to expose my previous shortcomings, I want you to know about it with the hope that you stay away from them, be it cigarettes, vaping, or hookah.
InshAllah, maybe you’re not dealing with nicotine, but maybe this video can help you control another substance or behavior.
Again, the same technique I used to quit nicotine, which is extremely addictive, I used to keep other addictions in check.
I’ll mention another shortly.
Chapter Four: The Method
“In large measure, who we are with respect to any choice is where we are, attentionally, in the moment before the choice.” - Robert B. Cialdini, Pre-Suasion
The first step was deciding once and for all to quit.
You can’t want to quit just because someone told you to, or just because it’s bad for you, because you may not be in the emotional context of even caring.
This is the beauty of blogs and videos.
If you don’t really care right now, inshAllah maybe one day you will, and these blogs and videos will be here for you when you do.
For me, I was just tired of being a slave to it all.
As Jim Rohn used to say,
“When the why becomes strong, the how becomes easy.” - Jim Rohn
So I found my why, and with Allah’s help, and a lot of trial and error, I found the solution to quitting.
For now.
More on that shortly.
First, I had to recognize my triggers and then avoid them.
Just until I was in the clear.
So once you’ve identified your addiction, find your triggers, the pre-events or thoughts that make us crave the addiction.
What cues do you receive that remind you of your addiction, producing dopamine?
This will take being in the moment and being mindful of your feelings and thoughts at the moment of craving.
For me, with smoking, my triggers were:
Others smoking
talking on the phone
After a big meal
When hungry
While drinking coffee
While bored
When stressed
And during or after a get-together
Let’s see how we can apply this to, let’s say a sugar addiction.
Which many of us are.
So using sugar as an example,
OK, for your friend, not you!
Some triggers might be,
When others are eating or drinking sweets
During gatherings
While drinking coffee or tea
After a meal
When stressed
When tired
When bored
When hungry
After physical exertion
Does all of that sound familiar?
You’ll find the triggers for smoking were very similar to sugar.
Why?
Because most addictions create the same addictive pathways and pleasure centers in the brain, causing the production of dopamine.
Once you've identified your triggers, again, you want to avoid them until the physical cravings subside to a controllable degree.
You may need to dig in initially, but I promise the physical craving will pass inshAllah
Let’s continue with the sugar example.
In the beginning, you may need to forgo get-togethers.
Especially if people give you a hard time about it.
You know who you are.
They may not understand and think you're just on a "diet" to lose weight, but after a while, you get used to it.
Some will carry it for years, but it's all good.
You know who you are.
And who knows, inshAllah maybe they’ll get motivated to quit sugar as well, once they see the health benefits you're experiencing.
Second, if you have to have sugar in your coffee or tea, try cutting back down slowly until you're down to a teaspoon, then half a teaspoon, then switch to monk fruit or stevia.
I personally don’t like stevia but if you’re good with it, then go for it.
I like to use a little heavy cream in my decaf because it’s a little sweet but without sugar.
That’s right, I said decaf!
So, basically, you’d be using a substitution until the “sweet tooth” is under control.
Kind of like methadone, which helps people with heroin withdrawals.
Hmph! Sweet tooth.
Gotta love those fuzzy little terms for addiction.
Third, when stressed or bored, tell yourself to wait 20 minutes.
This strategy helps a lot, especially for people like me who are impulsive,
This distracts your mind just enough to slow the production of dopamine; which drives the craving.
Telling yourself that you can’t have something,
Will only make you want it more.
It’s like saying, “Don’t think of a polar bear.”
What did you think of?
So if you’re thinking, over and over, “I can’t have soda.”
What are the last words in your mind? ”…have soda”
But if you tell yourself to wait 20 minutes, you’re allowing yourself to free your mind and think of something else.
You’re simply putting it off, and 20 minutes is usually the amount of time for the temptation to pass.
I actually tell myself that I can have the dessert but I choose not to.
And Because our actions tend to follow our predominant thought, it’s very beneficial to make zhikker.
It keeps your mind focused on Allah and not temptation.
It’s nearly impossible to turn off our inner dialog, but we can control it with zhikker.
It's hard to think of two things simultaneously and coherently, so zhikker is key.
“The is a secret for greater self-control, the science points to one thing: the power of paying attention.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Willpower Instinct
It also protects us from Shaytan trying to tempt us.
Because remembering Allah is like stiff arming shaytan in the face.
I use to go for a walk or exercise during the 20 minutes but had to make sure I had a healthy, sugar-free meal ready afterward because exercise can make you hungry.
Which brings us to number four.
Meal prep.
Prep as many meals as possible so that when you’re hungry, you won’t grab any easily accessible junk food.
Preparation is key.
Number Five. Out of sight out of mind.
Make unhealthy choices invisible.
Many of us have family and not everyone in the family is ready to give up sugar.
But one thing we can do is make sure those foods are away in the pantry or, a safe.
If you have a second fridge in the garage, put it in there so you don't see it when going into your main fridge.
Now after identifying our triggers and having a strategy to harness the addiction, it's just one day at a time.
20 minutes at a time.
And again, don't beat yourself up if you give in.
Brush it off, and keep striving.
Otherwise, dopamine and shaytan will paint you into a corner.
I personally found that as long as I made it my daily struggle to win, turning off autopilot, and being in the moment, I was able to keep it under control.
Chapter Five: Addictions Big Secret
About four years ago, I quit sugar cold turkey and did strict healthy keto for 6 months.
I lost 45 pounds and put my decade-long battle with anxiety disorder in remission.
More on that in another blog inshAllah.
I was sleeping great and overall felt fantastic.
Then one day I felt the cravings again.
Not from apparent stress, no..my pain disguised itself as boredom.
You see, I use to sabotage myself when things were going well.
It would always seem too good to be true.
So instead of getting let down, I’d make things uncomfortable for myself.
More on trauma in part 4.
So when things are going well, be it work, my health, or were my finances, I‘d get uncomfortable.
I’d get bored.
Add to that Shaytan whispering to me to have just one little cheat meal, because he hates for us to have any meaningful progress in life.
So here I was feeling amazing, and the hardships of my bad health, prior to keto, long gone in the rearview mirror.
I had forgotten how bad it was.
Kind of like when a mother is in labor and thinking, “I’m never doing this again!”
But, Alhumdulillah, time heals and eventually most mothers will have a longing for another child.
One of the worst aspects of my health prior was my anxiety disorder,
Not only would I battle with anxiety and panic attacks almost on a daily basis, but I was also waking up in the middle of the night with anxiety, which always ended up with me pacing throughout the house, with a full-blown panic attack.
I wouldn’t wish those years on anyone.
But now I was bored.
So I thought to myself, I can have a bite or two of this pizza sitting here in the kitchen.
I looked around to make sure my kids weren’t around because they keep me in check.
They’ll ask me sometimes, “Dad, is that Keto?”
But no one was around, so I took a bite.
As soon as I bit into that slice of pizza, it was like my brain lit up.
The universe made sense, and all of the worlds were in harmony because I was once again comfortable feeling uncomfortable.
Then I wanted another slice.
Then I thought, “While I’m here, I may as well eat this cupcake that my wife brought home from the Masjid.”
I was binging.
And that brings us to addiction’s dark secret.
The pathways in our brains, that are paved by addiction, may never go away.
They lay in the cut, waiting for us to get stressed, or in my case….bored
It picks up right where we left off when we quit.
Even if it’s years later!
Alhamdulillah, I haven’t had nicotine for years.
I know the pathways are still there, and it’s possible if put in the wrong circumstances, my old triggers could return.
I highly doubt it, but I won’t say ‘never’.
I do my best not to get caught slippin’ by underestimating it.
May Allah protect us. 🤲🏾
So Back to my binging incident.
When we slip up and relapse, or what we like to call a “cheat meal” to feel better about ourselves, to our brain, it’s like we never stopped in the first place.
Studies, such as those done on rats,
have shown that changes in the brain, due to addiction, can be long-lasting, and in some cases, permanent.
These changes involve the brain's reward system, including the dopamine pathways, and can persist even after a period of abstinence, which contributes to the chronic relapsing nature of addiction.
So, I had to return to my keto horse and start over.
Chapter Six: Prevention Is the Best Medicine
Whatever your addiction may be, food, internet, gaming, music, exercise, work, or reading, yes reading, whatever brings pleasure — dopamine is there wanting more, along with Shaytan cheerleading it along.
But just remember that we’re created to fall off the wagon so that we turn to Allah for forgiveness.
Don’t let your DNS (Dopamine, Nafs, and shaytan) convince you that you’re a lost cause or too weak to win.
Because winning isn’t being perfect.
Winning is throwing your hat, kufi or hijab in the ring and trying.
The beauty of Islam is that its foundation lies in prevention, which, even according to science, is key when dealing with addiction.
Because It’s far easier to avoid addiction than it is to acquire one and then control it.
If you found this beneficial, please be sure to check out part 3 on Addiction and Relationships, where we see how even a sugar addiction can not only harm ourselves but also those close to us.
May Allah reward you for being curious,
Keeping tying your 🐪
Salamualaikum
