Beyond Blood Sugar: The Hidden Dangers of Insulin Resistance

Asalamualaikum,

my name’s Farooq,

and welcome to this get-together, ‘Beyond Blood Sugar: Exploring the Hidden Dangers of Insulin Resistance’

"A recent study hints that up to 85% of all US adults may have this hidden disorder, along with half of all adults in Mexico, China, and India, and more than one-third of adults in Europe and Canada.”

And the problem is at least as prevalent across the Pacific Islands, North Africa, and the Middle East.” - Benjamin Bikman, Why We Get Sick

It also plays a huge role in the development of the top four causes of death worldwide;

Heart Disease, Cancer, Neurodegenerative Diseases, and Type-2 Diabetes.

I highly encourage you to read this article in full and not assume that it doesn’t apply to you or your loved ones.

And! We’ll do a personal self-test that you can do right now, to know with great certainty, if you have insulin resistance.

Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to our health.

Ignorance can lead to poor health, and a poor quality of life, which at the end of the day can even limit our efforts in the Deen.

May Allah reward you for being curious.

Let’s tie our camel.

Chapter 1: The Elephant In the Room

Abu Bakr (RA) said that The Messenger (PBUH) mounted the pulpit, then wept and said, "Ask Allah for forgiveness and health, for after being granted certainty, one is given nothing better than health.”

Growing up as a kid I was pretty skinny and very active.

You could say, hyperactive.

I could run around outside for hours.

I loved running.

Unfortunately, as I got into my early teens, I was introduced to video games, and slowly fell victim to the bad consequences of processed fake foods and inactivity.

I gained a lot of weight and was always hungry.

I had…insulin resistance.

“Insulin resistance is the most common health disorder worldwide.” - Benjamin Bikman, PhD

But to understand insulin resistance, we need to learn a little bit about insulin.

Insulin is an anabolic hormone that’s made in the pancreas, which is a small organ that’s located beneath the stomach.

It’s called anabolic because it helps build and store substances in the body, including proteins, carbohydrates, and fats.

As for glucose management, anytime we consume food or beverages that increase blood glucose (aka blood sugar), the pancreas, via beta cells, releases insulin, which acts as a key to open the door of our cells to allow glucose, among other things, to enter.

Now, these can be cells in the brain, heart, muscles, and fat tissue.

But what happens if insulin can no longer open the doors for glucose?

And…how or why would that even happen?

This brings us to insulin resistance.

Chapter 2: What is Insulin Resistance?

Narrated Ibn `Abbas:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "There are two blessings that many people are deceived into losing: health and free time."

So what is insulin resistance?

Over time, after eating high glucose-producing foods and beverages and having a sedentary lifestyle, glucose could no longer fit into my cells.

My blood became saturated with the glucose that needed to get into my cells.

Which caused the beta cells of my pancreas, to keep sending more and more insulin to open the cells.

And because it couldn’t, my system stopped responding entirely to the insulin, causing the insulin to store the glucose as fat for later use.

Which for me was a lot of belly and body fat, for others, it may be fat under the abdominal muscles, stored around the organs.

And by the way, this is the more dangerous fat.

So that condition created what is known as hyperinsulinemia; a higher-than-normal baseline of insulin hanging around in the blood; trying to keep glucose levels normal.

And the bigger problem, the elephant in the room, no pun intended, is that it went undetected for years, even decades before turning into pre-diabetes, depression, anxiety, and panic attacks.

Chapter 3: How Does Insulin Resistance Go Undetected?

“The most insulin-resistant people have a four-times greater risk of developing kidney failure than those with mild insulin resistance. Importantly, this happens even when glucose levels are still normal! - Bikman, Benjamin. Why We Get Sick

So how does insulin resistance go undetected?

Well the medical community, for some time now, has been taught and trained to focus primarily on two tests in detecting type-2 diabetes.

And that’s blood glucose and an HbA1C, which is basically an average of your blood glucose over 3 months.

But these only tell part of the story.

Remember, these tests are looking for diabetes; aka hyperglycemia; high levels of glucose, but we’re more interested in hyperinsulinemia.

High levels of insulin.

“Insulin is a much better predictor of type 2 diabetes than glucose, predicting the problem up to 20 years earlier.” - Benjamin Bikman, PhD

Chapter 4: There Can Be More Than One

It was narrated that Abu Hurairah said: "A man said: 'O Messenger of Allah, which kind of charity is best? He said: 'Giving charity when you are in good health and feeling stingy, hoping for a long life and fearing poverty.”

So what are the symptoms of insulin resistance if you haven’t had a fasting insulin test and aren’t sure?

Let’s now do a self-test to know where we stand inshAllah, by looking at 8 symptoms of insulin resistance.

Ya ready?

Alright.

1. Do you have fat around your belly?

2. Do you have high blood pressure?

3. Do you have a family history of heart disease?

4. Do you have high levels of blood triglycerides?

5. Do you retain water easily?

   Meaning, do you feel puffy or have bloating in your face, hands, or feet, or have darker urine.?

6. Do you have patches of darker-colored skin, or little bumps of skin (“aka skin tags”) at your neck, armpits, face, or other areas?

7. Do you have a family member with insulin resistance or type 2 diabetes?

8. Do you have polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS; for women) or ED (for men)?

If you answered “yes” to one of these questions, you likely have insulin resistance.

If you answered “yes” to any two questions (or more), you most definitely have insulin resistance.

You could have insulin resistance for years, even decades, and not even know until it’s too late, when it shows up after downgrading you to a chronic disease.

So if you have one or more of the symptoms mentioned, schedule a fasting insulin test إن شاء الله

Chapter 5: Fire Starters

Ibn Abbas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "There are two blessings in which many people incur loss. (They are) health and free time (for doing good)".

So what are some of the causes of Insulin Resistance and how can we prevent or reverse it?

1. Dietary Factors:

   A diet high in refined carbohydrates and sugar can rapidly spike blood sugar levels, leading to repeated insulin surges and eventually desensitizing the cells to insulin's effects as we discussed.

   So cutting these foods out of your diet will greatly push your health in the right direction inshAllah.

2. Sedentary Lifestyle:

   Physical inactivity leads to reduced glucose uptake by muscles, impairing insulin sensitivity.

   Exercise, on the other hand, enhances insulin sensitivity by increasing glucose uptake and improving the body's metabolic functions.

   So be sure to do something at least 3 days a week to improve your health.

3. Chronic Inflammation:

   Chronic inflammation is a key underlying factor in many diseases, including insulin resistance.

   Inflammation disrupts the normal signaling pathways involved in insulin action, leading to reduced insulin sensitivity.

   Cutting out processed food and seed oils is a quick way to reduce inflammation.

4. Sleep Deprivation:

   Lack of quality sleep has been linked to increased insulin resistance and a higher risk of developing type 2 diabetes.

   Sleep disturbances disrupt the delicate balance of hormones involved in glucose metabolism, leading to impaired insulin action.

   And let’s not forget, that the Prophet (PBUH), would go to sleep after Isha, and wake up early to pray during the night.

Conclusion

“Living longer isn’t living longer with a disease, living longer means living longer without a disease.” - Peter Attia, MD, Outlive

So today, we’ve learned about insulin, insulin resistance, the symptoms of insulin resistance, its causes, some preventions, and even ways to reverse it.

I encourage you to get a fasting insulin test scheduled along with your normal blood panel if you haven’t already.

Once I was able to identify it, I changed my diet and cured my depression, anxiety and panic attacks, alhumdulillah.

And if there is one takeaway to remember and implement right now to improve your health it’s to…

Stop drinking soda, juice, and sports drinks.

This alone can immediately get your health headed in the right direction inshAllah.

The solution is simple but not easy.

What can make it difficult is the addiction factor which I covered in my addiction series.

If you haven’t watched it, and you’re struggling to eat properly, I encourage you to watch it inshAllah.

I’ve put the links in the description below.

Please be sure to leave a comment and share any other information you might have about insulin resistance.

If you found this beneficial or learned something new, please share it with others inshAllah.

And if you wanna get together again for more discussions, please subscribe, like, and click the bell for notifications.

May Allah reward you for being curious.

And keep tying your camel.

Salamualaikum.

Muslims and Addiction Part 4/4: The Cause of Addiction

Introduction

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Asalamualaikum,

My name’s Farooq, and welcome to the final part of this addiction series, Muslims and Addiction Part 4: The Cause of Our Addictions.

As I mentioned in part one of this series, I had several addictions in my Jahaliyah.

And I use to wonder why I’d become addicted to a substance or behavior and others that I knew didn’t.

Fast forward to the present, and I’m still working on a couple of addictions.

They’re not illegal or serious, but they do negatively affect my Iman and the better Muslim that I’m trying to become.

Why is it that some can eat to benefit their health, while some of us, myself included, find it extremely difficult to make good choices on a consistent basis?

How can one person browse social media for an hour or two a day, whereas others might scroll all day?

By the way, if you want to know how much time you’re spending online, you can check your phone’s settings.

You might be surprised.

Well, today, we’re gonna talk about something which is responsible for 75% of people struggling with addiction.

By understanding the source, inshAllah, we can not only take the necessary steps to help ourselves but also prevent it from happening to our kids.

We can also help our kids with an existing addiction, like processed foods or mobile devices.

And if you’re young or don’t have kids, inshAllah this will help you when you do.

This, in my opinion, is the most critical piece to the addiction puzzle.

By facing the cause of our addictions, we can have a deeper understanding of why we do what we do and why we can’t do what we need to do.

This adds firepower to the ‘controlling addiction strategy’ we covered in part 2 of this series.

So inshAllah, grab a cup of coffee or tea, and let’s do some self-reflection and continue our journey to a better life.

May Allah reward you for being curious,

Let’s tie our camel.

Chapter One: From A Young Sprout

1:35

“Ignoring the pain actually deepens it. What is hidden from sight often increases in intensity.” - Mark Wolynn, It Didn’t Start with You.

To recap from the previous parts of this series,

“Addiction is a state in which a person engages in compulsive behavior or a substance despite adverse consequences.“

As Muslims, adverse consequences also include committing sins.

Whereas a non-Muslim might see harm as just physical or mental, we have the added consequences in how it affects our Iman and the hereafter.

May Allah protect us and make it easy for us.

So what is the main cause of addiction?

Trauma.

“Trauma refers to a distressing or disturbing event or experience perceived as overwhelming and beyond one's ability to cope.“

Now I’m sure if we thought about this for a moment, and looked into our past, we could recall several traumatic experiences in our lives.

Traumatic events can be physical, emotional, or psychological, including abuse, neglect, violence, accidents, natural disasters, or war.

And, trauma can have a lasting impact on a person's mental and physical health, affecting things like Iman, sleep, relationships, and overall quality of life.

Trauma can also contribute to the development of addiction because addiction can be a means of coping with the emotional pain and distress caused by trauma.

“Trauma, by its very nature, renders us emotionally illiterate.” - Tian Dayton

Research has shown that individuals who’ve experienced trauma are at a higher risk of developing addiction than those who haven’t.

and trauma can lead to a range of emotional and psychological symptoms, including anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and Bipolar Disorder.

Causing some to self-medicate or numb these symptoms, by turning to drugs or various behaviors like gaming, browsing the Internet, shopping, working, and haram websites, which can ultimately lead to addiction.

On the other hand, addiction can also be a cause of trauma.

Substance use disorders, like alcohol and cannabis, can lead to negative consequences, including financial problems, legal issues, relationship difficulties, and health problems.

These consequences can be traumatic for the individual and their loved ones, further increasing the emotional pain and distress.

So in essence, the cycle of addiction and trauma can perpetuate itself.

May Allah protect us.

Chapter 2: Why Do I Feel Like That?

3:36

'A'isha (RA), the wife of Allah's Apostle (ﷺ), reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said:

'A'isha, verily Allah is kind and He loves kindness and confers upon kindness which he does not confer upon severity and does not confer upon anything else besides it (kindness).

To understand trauma, we can look at three types:

1. Acute Trauma:

   This refers to a single traumatic event or a series of events that occur within a short period of time.

   Examples of acute trauma include natural disasters, car accidents, sexual assault, physical assault, an illness with a loved one, or witnessing violence.

2. Chronic Trauma:

   This refers to prolonged and repeated exposure to traumatic events, such as ongoing physical or emotional abuse, neglect, or war.

   Chronic trauma can occur over months or even years and can lead to mental and physical health problems.

   For me, growing up, I had my fair share of trauma.

   One aspect of my trauma was growing up in the ’80s when bullying was a normal part of life.

   I was very overweight between the ages of 13 and 17, which was rare in those days in that there were only a few of us overweight kids in the whole school.

   This caused me to isolate myself at home and bottle up my emotions.

   By not talking about it, it took a toll on my health.

   As James Lynch mentions in his book, ‘The Broken Heart’,

   “Communication is vitally linked to our bodies and is probably the single most important force that influences our health or lack of health.”

   If you were to ask me up until ten years ago if it had a profound effect on my life, I’d quickly reply, ‘No, I’m good.’

   But now, after years of self-reflection and learning how our brains are wired, I can see that it has by the sheer number of addictions that I’ve accumulated throughout my life.

3. And number three, Complex Trauma:

   Complex trauma is a form of chronic trauma that occurs in the context of interpersonal relationships, typically during childhood.

   Examples include emotional, physical, or sexual abuse by a parent, caregiver, or sibling, psychological neglect, or exposure to domestic violence.

   Complex trauma can lead to major disruptions in a person's development and can have long-lasting effects on mental and physical health.

   There’s also the situation where if the parents are emotionally numb or restrict their emotional experience, they can’t be empathetic and responsive to their children.

   and parents who shut down or medicate their own internal world (whether it be food, Internet, work, or shopping) are unable to show their children how to relate well through their own behavior.

   “They’re poor models of emotional literacy or how to conduct intimate relationships.” - Tian Dayton

   Complex trauma can also have a negative impact on one's Deen;

   It’s not uncommon to see individuals who’ve been severely traumatized by their parents or caregivers, leave the fold of Islam or even leave Islam entirely once they’ve grown up and left the nest.

   May Allah protect us.

Let’s take a moment to expand on six ways in which verbal and physical abuse affects children by their parents, caregivers, or siblings:

1. Emotional Impact:

Children who experience or witness abuse can suffer from a range of emotional and psychological problems.

They may experience feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, depression, and difficulty in forming healthy relationships.

They might also develop a fear of people, places, or things associated with the abuse.

For example, if someone’s abused as a kid, they can experience severe anxiety, even years later, when passing by the house they grew up in.

2. Cognitive Impact:

Abuse can affect a child's cognitive development and academic performance.

They can have difficulty concentrating, struggle with schoolwork, and have lower academic achievement in general.

And, SubhanAllah, in some cases, they may exhibit a lower IQ and reading ability.

and to add, an abused child having a low academic performance caused by trauma can fuel even more trauma if the parents punish them, chastise them, or complain about their performance.

This brings us to:

3. Behavioral Impact:

Some children may exhibit aggressive behavior, while others may become withdrawn.

They may have difficulty sleeping or experience nightmares or wet the bed.

And Children who’ve been abused are also at a higher risk of developing substance abuse problems and engaging in self-harming behaviors.

4. Physical Impact:

Physical abuse can lead to immediate physical injuries, like bruises, cuts, or broken bones, and can also create long-term health problems, due to stress.

In fact, some research suggests that the stress from chronic abuse can lead to changes in the brain and body that result in health problems later in life, including heart disease, obesity, type-2 diabetes, and other chronic diseases.

5. Development of Trauma and Stress-Related Disorders:

Children who experience abuse are at a higher risk of developing trauma and stress-related disorders like Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

They may experience flashbacks, emotional numbness, and difficulty with memory and concentration.

6. Difficulty Forming Healthy Relationships:

This one, in my opinion, is one of the worse outcomes of trauma.

Relationships are key to a healthy life.

We sometimes take good relationships for granted, by not seeing their value until they’re gone.

Children who’ve been abused may struggle to form healthy relationships later in life.

They might have difficulty trusting others, struggle with feelings of anger or fear, or feel compelled to recreate the dynamics of their abusive relationships.

And as a reminder, abuse isn’t just physical abuse, these outcomes also apply to verbal abuse, ridicule, shaming, and an overall disappointed or angry disposition overall by the parents or caregivers.

Kids are constantly looking to their parents or caregivers for approval, love, and acceptance.

Just as we seek the same from Allah as adults.

For us parents, imagine if we knew Allah was upset with us.

Imagine the pain we’d feel.

Children, especially young children, don’t fully look to Allah only.

They’re not old enough to comprehend Allah’s greatness.

They look up to us and seek refuge with us.

Love from us. Closeness with us.

So when we turn on them, it’s as if their whole world has turned on them.

May Allah give us understanding and protect our families.

Chapter 3: Children See, Children Do

9:27

“If we do not process trauma, ongoing life complications such as depression, anxiety, sleep disturbances, anger, feelings of betrayal, and trouble trusting and connecting in relationships can persist for years after the traumatic experience occurred.” - Tian Dayton, Trauma and Addiction.

Now let’s talk about Emotional neglect.

This is a form of child abuse that occurs when a parent or caregiver fails to provide adequate emotional support and attention to a child.

This type of neglect is growing in record numbers due to mobile devices and homes where both parents are working.

Emotional neglect can occur in three different ways:

1. Failure to provide emotional support:

   Emotional neglect is when a parent or caregiver fails to provide emotional support or comfort to a child.

   This can include ignoring a child's needs for affection, comfort, or reassurance or failing to respond to a child's emotional distress.

2. Failure to recognize emotional needs:

   This can include dismissing a child's concerns, minimizing their feelings, or failing to acknowledge their accomplishments.

   One of the best ways to set your child up for anxiety or addiction is by dismissing their feelings.

   Because when a child is hurt, and the parent tells them, “Aw, you’re fine, or stop crying.” You’re not making them tough, you’re making them psychologically weak and emotionally illiterate.

   When they hold in their feelings or are left to deal with them on their own, it creates a pandora's box that can later fuel problems in self-regulation and mental health.

   We, as Muslims, should be the shining examples of how to treat children.

   We have to make sure we’re not implementing pre-Islamic practices, culture, or mimicking our parents behavior, when raising our kids.

   It was narrated that Anas (RA) said: I served the Prophet (PBUH) for ten years and he never said to me “Uff!” (a word of contempt) or “Why did you do such and such?” or “Why didn’t you do such and such?” Narrated by al-Bukhaari.

   Anas bin Malak (RA) was a young Sahabi that served The Prophet (PBUH), allowing him to witness many aspects of the Prophet's life (PBUH), habits, and teachings firsthand.

   So if the Prophet (PBUH) was so kind to his servant, who was not a relative, how do you think The Prophet (SAW) treated his own family?

   An-Nu'man bin Bashir delivered a Khutbah and said:

   "The Messenger of Allah said: 'Treat your children fairly, treat your children fairly.'"

   We all cherry-pick aspects of the Deen, all of us.

   Whether it’s how we treat our kids, how we marry, or our manners, none of us can be perfect.

   But we can make an effort to correct our mistakes once we’ve identified them inshAllah.

   However hard it may be.

   May Allah make it easy for all of us.

3. Failure to provide a safe emotional environment:

   This can occur when a caregiver creates an unsafe or emotionally toxic environment for a child.

   This can include exposing a child to verbal or emotional abuse or failing to protect them from the emotional trauma of divorce, separation, or other significant life changes.

The long-term effects of emotional neglect can be huge and can affect a child's development and mental health throughout their life.

and children who experience emotional neglect may struggle with self-esteem, relationships, and emotional regulation.

They may also be at increased risk for depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and other mental health problems.

It’s important to note that emotional neglect can occur in families where physical or sexual abuse is not present and may be harder to recognize or identify than other forms of abuse, because it’s usually dismissed as the norm or “not a big deal.”

This can then be passed down to future generations because the kids have a lack of emotional intelligence by copying their parents.

That said, here are five ways in which children learn behavior from their parents.

1. Observational Learning:

This is the most common way children learn behavior.

They watch their parents and imitate their behaviors, attitudes, and responses.

Psychologist Albert Bandura's ‘Social Learning Theory’, emphasizes this by explaining that children learn by watching others.

For example, if a child sees a parent handle frustration calmly, they’re more likely to do so themselves.

2. Operant Conditioning:

This involves learning through consequences.

Meaning, If a behavior is followed by a positive outcome (a reward), it's more likely to be repeated, and if it's followed by a negative outcome (a punishment), it's less likely to be repeated.

Parents often unknowingly use this method in their daily interactions with their children.

For example, if a child receives praise (a positive outcome) for doing their homework, they are more likely to repeat this behavior.

Now, one thing to point out is the importance to do both and not just focusing on punishment.

Providing a lack of positive reinforcement can bring about more bad behavior because, after all, negative attention is better than no attention.

On the authority of Ibn Abbas (RA), from the Messenger of Allah (PBUH), from what he has related from his Lord:

Verily Allah has written down the good deeds and the evil deeds, and then explained it [by saying]: “Whosoever intended to perform a good deed, but did not do it, then Allah writes it down with Himself as a complete good deed.

And if he intended to perform it and then did perform it, then Allah writes it down with Himself as from ten good deeds up to seven hundred times, up to many times multiplied.

And if he intended to perform an evil deed, but didn’t do it, then Allah writes it down with Himself as a complete good deed. And if he intended it [i.e., the evil deed] and then performed it, then Allah writes it down as one evil deed.” [Al-Bukhari] [Muslim]. سبحان الله

There is a lot to learn and unpack from this hadith in how we deal with family by modeling Allah’s mercy toward us onto our children.

In that, we should emphasize positive reinforcement more than negative reinforcement by focusing on the good and rewarding our children, instead of always punishing them for their mistakes.

As well as teaching them how to learn from their mistakes.

3. Verbal Instruction:

Parents directly teach children certain behaviors and attitudes through explicit communication.

They explain to the child what is right and wrong, how to behave in certain situations, and the family values.

As Muslims, the primary source of right and wrong comes from our Deen.

It should be used as our guide and yardstick for all matters of our lives inshAllah.

Not just for raising children but also as guidance for the parents as well.

4. Modeling:

This is closely related to observational learning in that by demonstrating how to behave in different situations, parents act as role models for their children.

This includes everything from the Deen, manners, and interactions with others.

The behavior that parents model can greatly influence a child's development and conduct.

“Un-fun fact: When the youth spend much of their time on devices, they learn to model the millions of strangers they see on their screen.“

I’m sure you were told growing up, not to talk to strangers.

Well today, our kids watch and sometimes even talk to and chat, with strangers on a daily basis.

5. Emotional Contagion:

Children are highly attuned to their parents' emotional states and may mirror these feelings.

For example, if a parent often exhibits anxiety, a child might also learn to respond to situations with anxiety.

The same with anger.

I try to remind myself as much as possible that Allah is watching me if I’m feeling frustrated or upset.

Doing so not only protects me from sin but also protects my kids from adopting negative ways of responding to situations.

Easier said than done, I know.

It’s a daily struggle.

It’s not easy reversing old automatic responses, but again, we need to put in the effort inshAllah.

May Allah make it easy for us.

Chapter 4: The Changing Brain

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“When we cut ourselves off from our parents, the qualities we view as negative in them can express in us unconsciously.” - Mark Wolynn

Trauma can have significant effects on the brain, particularly on the regions of the brain involved in emotional regulation, memory, and stress response.

Here are four ways trauma can impact the brain:

1. Alterations in brain structure:

   SubhanAllah, trauma can cause changes in the size, shape, and functioning of certain brain regions, particularly the hippocampus and the amygdala.

   The hippocampus is responsible for memory formation and retrieval, while the amygdala is involved in emotional regulation and the stress response (fight, flight or freeze).

   Trauma can cause the hippocampus to actually shrink in size, which can impair memory and increase the risk of developing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

   It can also cause the amygdala to become hyperactive, leading to increased anxiety, hypervigilance, and emotional reactivity.

2. Dysregulation of the stress response system:

   Trauma can cause dysregulation of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, or HPA.

   I know it’s a mouthful, but It’s basically the system responsible for regulating the body's stress response.

   This can result in increased production of stress hormones, such as cortisol, which can have a range of negative effects on the body and brain.

   More on that in another video inshAllah.

3. Disruptions in neural pathways:

   Trauma can disrupt neural pathways in the brain that are involved in emotion regulation, decision-making, and impulse control.

   Disruption in the PFC (pre-frontal cortex), which we learned about previously in this series, can lead to difficulties with emotional regulation, increased risk-taking behaviors, and impaired decision-making.

4. Changes in neurotransmitter function:

   Trauma can also affect the functioning of neurotransmitters, such as serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine, which are involved in regulating mood, pleasure, and motivation.

   These changes can lead to symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other mood disorders.

   More on this as well in another video coming soon inshAllah.

Chapter 5: Live At Your Own Risk

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“While trauma victims gain the temporary relief they are seeking (through addiction), they do so at the expense of self-knowledge and the potential for self-mastery.” - Dayton, Tian. Trauma and Addiction

There are many risk factors that can increase a person's likelihood of experiencing trauma.

Risk factors don’t necessarily mean that a person will experience trauma, but they can make a person more likely to experience traumatic events or more likely to struggle with the effects of trauma after a stressful event has occurred.

In other words, one person may be traumatized by an event while another is not.

Here are 8 risk factors that can cause a person to experience an event as trauma:

1. Childhood abuse or neglect:

   Children who experience physical, emotional, or sexual abuse or neglect are at increased risk for experiencing trauma later in life.

2. Exposure to violence:

   Such as witnessing domestic violence or being the victim of a violent crime.

3. Natural disasters:

   Such as hurricanes, floods, or earthquakes, can cause significant trauma, particularly if a person is injured, loses their home, or experiences the loss of loved ones.

4. War or conflict:

   Whether it be soldiers or civilians.

5. Medical trauma:

   People who have experienced serious illness or injury or who have undergone medical procedures may be at increased risk for trauma.

6. Substance abuse:

   Substance abuse can increase the risk of experiencing trauma, mainly if a person engages in risky behaviors while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

7. Mental health conditions:

   People who have pre-existing mental health conditions, such as depression or anxiety.

   As I mentioned in previous videos, I suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for well over a decade, which was rooted in childhood trauma and then nurtured into a giant beanstalk by a stressful business, lack of sleep, terrible diet, and no exercise.

   May Allah protect us.

8. Social isolation:

   People who lack social support or who feel socially isolated may have a higher risk for trauma, especially if they experience a significant life event, such as the loss of a loved one or other major life changes, like moving, starting a new job, or attending a new school.

   And I’m sure some of us have probably experienced all of these at once.

Now, not everyone who experiences these risk factors will necessarily have trauma and many people who experience trauma may not have experienced any of these risk factors.

Because trauma is a highly individualized experience, its impact depends on a range of factors, including Iman, the severity and duration of the trauma, the person's coping skills, and their social support network.

Chapter 6: How Did We Get Here?

20:52

Now that we have a good understanding of trauma, how does it lead to addiction?

Trauma can lead to addiction in several ways.

Here are 6 ways that trauma can contribute to addiction:

1. Self-medication:

   People who’ve experienced trauma may turn to substances or certain behaviors to cope with the emotional pain and distress associated with the trauma.

   This can provide temporary relief from the symptoms of trauma, but over time, it can lead to physical and psychological dependence.

2. Co-occurring disorders:

   Trauma is often associated with mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

   These conditions can increase the risk of developing addiction, as people may use substances or behaviors to self-medicate the symptoms of these disorders.

3. Impulsivity:

   People who have experienced trauma may be more likely to engage in risky or impulsive behaviors, such as drug or alcohol use.

   This can increase the risk of developing an addiction.

   Trauma can also be linked to ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).

4. Social Isolation:

   Trauma can lead to social isolation, which can increase the risk of developing addiction.

   People who lack social support may turn to substances or addictive behaviors such as browsing the Internet, Haram Websites, Gaming, and Shopping, as a way to cope with loneliness or social disconnection.

5. Neurobiological changes:

   Trauma can cause changes in the brain's reward system and stress response system, which can increase the risk of addiction.

   As I mentioned earlier, trauma can also alter the functioning of neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin, which are involved in regulating mood, pleasure, and motivation, making people more susceptible to addiction.

6. Family history:

   People who have a family history of addiction may be more vulnerable to developing addiction, particularly if they’ve experienced trauma.

   Having a family history of addiction doesn’t guarantee that someone will develop an addiction.

   It just means that they may be at an increased risk.

   Like the example I gave in part 3 of this series, where genetics are like the gun, and diet, lifestyle, and environment determine whether or not the trigger is pulled.

Chapter 7: The Usual Suspects

23:06

“We think that children act, whereas what they mostly do is react. Parents who realize this acquire a powerful tool. By noticing their own responses to the child, rather than fixating on the child’s responses to them, they free up tremendous energy for growth.” ― Gabor Maté

Experiencing trauma can increase the risk of developing various addictions as individuals may use substances or behaviors as coping mechanisms to manage their overwhelming feelings or to numb their pain.

Here are 5 common addictions associated with trauma:

1. Substance use disorders:

   Particularly those related to alcohol, opioids, and cannabis.

   Individuals with unresolved trauma often use these substances as an escape mechanism to alleviate their emotional distress temporarily.

2. Process addictions:

   These are non-substance-related addictions, such as gambling, physical relations, or internet addiction (whether social media or haram websites).

   People who’ve experienced trauma may engage in these behaviors as a way to cope with the emotional pain and distress associated with trauma.

3. Eating disorders:

   Such as anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating disorder.

   These disorders may be used as a way to cope with the emotional pain and distress associated with trauma or as a way to regain control in the aftermath of a traumatic event.

4. Self-harm:

   Such as cutting or burning, is a common coping mechanism for people who have experienced trauma.

   Although self-harm is not considered an addiction, it can become a compulsive behavior that is difficult to stop.

   It’s attributed to the imbalance of pleasure and pain caused by addiction.

   As Allah says in the Quran, “After every hardship comes ease.”

   We usually only think of this concept in situational terms, like experiencing a calamity and then being healed by time.

   Well, with self-harm, in excess, after pain comes pleasure to restore the balance as it releases endorphins – natural painkillers produced in response to stress or discomfort.

   These can create feelings of relief or even pleasure, providing a temporary but unhealthy coping mechanism.

   Do you know why having someone scratch your back feels good?

   It’s because the scratching actually hurts; sending pain signals to the brain, which in turn releases endorphins and serotonin to provide relief.

   It’s kinda messed up if you think about it.

   Scratching the itch activates additional sensory nerve endings and triggers a mild pain response, which can inhibit the itch sensation temporarily.

   This is known as "counter-irritation."

   The pain signal competes with the itch signal for attention in the brain, causing the itch sensation to be temporarily less intense.

5. Co-occurring mental health disorders:

   Trauma is often associated with the development of co-occurring mental health disorders, such as depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Chapter 8: The Six Stages

25:32

“Perhaps there was no more detrimental consequence of our childhood abandonment than being forced to habitually hide our authentic selves. Many of us come out of childhood believing that what we have to say is as uninteresting to others as it was to our parents.” - Pete Walker, Complex PTSD

The cycle of addiction and trauma can create a self-perpetuating cycle in which addiction and trauma reinforce one another, making it difficult to break free from the cycle.

To sum it all up, let’s look at the six stages of the cycle: (create visual)

1. Trauma occurs:

   The cycle begins with a traumatic event, which can be any experience that overwhelms a person's ability to cope.

   Trauma can include physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, neglect, or exposure to violence or other traumatic events.

2. Coping strategies are developed:

   In response to trauma, people may develop coping strategies to manage the emotional pain and distress associated with the traumatic event.

   These strategies can include substance use, self-harm, or other addictive behaviors.

3. Addiction develops:

   Over time, these coping strategies can become habitual and develop into addictive behaviors.

   For example, a person who uses drugs or food to cope with the symptoms of trauma may develop a physical and psychological dependence.

4. More trauma occurs:

   Addiction can lead to a range of negative consequences, including increased risk-taking behaviors, relationship problems, and physical and mental health problems.

   These consequences can lead to more trauma, such as accidents, injuries, or criminal activity, which can further reinforce the cycle of addiction and trauma.

5. Coping strategies are reinforced: In response to the negative consequences of addiction, people may continue to rely on their addictive behaviors as a way to cope with the additional trauma they experience.

6. Addiction worsens: Over time, addiction can worsen, leading to a range of negative outcomes, such as increased risk of overdose, legal problems, social isolation, and disease.

Breaking the cycle of addiction and trauma requires addressing the underlying causes of addiction, such as trauma, and developing new coping strategies to manage the emotional pain and distress associated with the trauma.

Chapter 9: Self-Help Strategies

27:29

Gabor Mate

Developing a self-care plan involves creating a personalized plan for taking care of one's physical, emotional, and mental health needs.

Self-care is an essential component of maintaining overall health and well-being, particularly for individuals who have experienced addiction and trauma.

Here are five key components to a self-care plan, which are all a part of our Deen alhumdulillah:

1. Spiritual self-care:

   Spiritual self-care involves engaging in activities that promote a sense of purpose or meaning, such as salat, reading the Quran or engaging with other Muslims in the community.

   Praying in Jamat accomplishes both the social and spiritual self-care alhumdulillah. It’s also important to spend quality time with the family without devices or other distractions.

2. Physical self-care:

   Physical self-care involves taking care of your body through activities such as exercise, healthy eating, getting enough sleep, and practicing good hygiene.

   As Muslims, we’ve had the best hygiene practices for over 1400 years. There are many countries, the West included, that still haven’t caught up to us. SubhanAllah.

   It’s so important in fact, that cleanliness makes up half of our Iman.

3. Emotional self-care:

   Emotional self-care involves taking care of one's emotional and mental health through activities such as reading the Quran, salat, zhikker, journaling, therapy, or spending time with friends and loved ones.

4. Social self-care:

   Social self-care involves building and maintaining healthy relationships with others, including family, friends, and peers.

   One of the major ways to produce serotonin, the happy chemical, is through social interaction.

   Praying in Jamat, is so therapeutic and beneficial that Allah encentivizes praying together by multiplying the reward by 27 times.

   Allah is so merciful that he gave us a way of life where the worship is also the prevention and the cure for our tests in life. SubhanAllah.

   Success in this life and the next inshAllah.

   No other religion or way of life has worldly benefits built into every act of worship.

   Even smiling is an act of charity and worship and has numerous benefits for both the one smiling and the one receiving it.

   Allahuakbar.

5. Professional self-care:

   Professional self-care involves taking care of one's career or work-related goals through continuing education, professional development, and seeking support or mentorship.

   Regular check-ins with a mentor can provide opportunities for debriefing, gaining feedback, and discussing any challenges you're facing.

   It can also be a source of professional support and guidance inshAllah.

   As Muslims, we should not only set the best example for manners and character but also professionally.

   In the West, business is separate from the person.

   For some, they use business to excuse immoral or unethical actions. “It’s only business,” as they say.

   This concept doesn’t apply in Islam.

   Our morals and ethics are constant, regardless of the context.

Chapter 10:

30:09

“Restoring relationships on a healthy basis promotes mental organization.” - Gabor Mate, Scattered Minds

Building a support network involves establishing connections with individuals, groups, or organizations that can provide emotional, social, or practical support for individuals who have experienced addiction and trauma.

A support network can play an important role in promoting recovery, reducing stress, and improving overall health and well-being.

A support network can include a range of individuals, including:

1. Family and friends:

   Family and friends are your main ‘go-to’ for emotional support, companionship, and practical assistance with everyday life.

   But, be mindful of who you take as close friends and who you hang out with.

   There’s a popular saying that “you are the average of your five closest friends.”

   Spiritually, financially, and emotionally, … so pay attention to who you spend the most time with.

   Diversify your circle of friends.

   This reminds me of something Ed Catmull states in his book, Creativity Inc, on creativity, but we can apply the same concept to ourselves as a whole when it comes to the company we keep.

   To paraphrase, he says, “If you give a good idea to a mediocre team, they’ll mess it up.

   If you give a mediocre idea to a brilliant team, they will either fix it or throw it away and come up with something better.

   So if you want to improve your health, be sure to have at least one friend who takes care of their health, if you wanna budget your money better, have a friend with that skill.

   Most importantly, be sure to have at least one friend knowledgeable in the Deen and will help you improve as a Muslim.

   I’ve been blessed in that my closest friends are more religious and more disciplined than me in many areas of life, so I get the best of many worlds.

   Amazing Muslims and amazing friends.

   Alhumdulillah.

2. Healthcare providers:

   Healthcare providers, such as therapists, counselors, or doctors, can provide professional support, guidance, and treatment for addiction and trauma-related disorders.

   Just be sure to find a doctor that’s following an evidence-based approach, both in the Deen (when it comes to concealing) and science and only uses medication as a last resort.

   I’ll be doing videos on this subject soon inshAllah.

3. Support groups:

   Support groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), or trauma-focused groups, can provide a sense of community and belonging, as well as a safe space to share experiences and receive support from others who’ve had similar experiences.

   In my opinion, we as Muslims need more support groups, especially ones that are conducted according to the Quran and authentic sunnah.

   One of my goals, InshAllah, is to create such groups online and to work toward creating more in-person groups for specific challenges.

4. Peer mentors:

   Peer mentors, who have experienced addiction and trauma themselves, can provide guidance, support, and encouragement to individuals who are in recovery.

   It’s always beneficial to speak to those who have been there and experienced what you’re going through.

   This is far more valuable than a study or survey.

   The main reason I started this channel and effort, was to share my own failures and wins in the hope of helping other brothers and sisters inshAllah.

   Let’s not forget that the Sahabah were reverts, and part of their success was in that they could empathize and understand the mindset of the Non-Muslims.

5. Community organizations:

   Community organizations, such as youth groups, recreational groups, or volunteer organizations, can provide opportunities for social connection, engagement, and support.

   This is also needed more in our communities.

   We tend to either focus solely on teaching Islam or solely on entertainment.

   We’re missing a combination of both — enmeshed with emotional support and mentorship.

Chapter 11: Overcoming Stigma and Shame

33:13

“The low-arousal state is experienced in the common feeling of shame. In a chronic form, it is a characteristic of depression.” - Gabor Mate, Scattered Minds

Stigma and shame are both significant barriers to seeking and receiving help for addiction and trauma-related disorders.

Stigma refers to negative attitudes, beliefs, and stereotypes that society holds towards individuals who’ve experienced addiction and trauma.

Shame, on the other hand, is a feeling of guilt, embarrassment, or self-blame that individuals may experience as a result of their addiction or trauma.

The impact of stigma and shame can be profound and can affect individuals in several ways:

Here are four ways stigma and shame can impact you:

1. Preventing help-seeking:

   Stigma and shame can make it difficult for individuals to seek help for addiction and trauma-related disorders.

   They may feel embarrassed or ashamed to admit that they’re struggling, or they may fear being judged or discriminated against by others.

   This is huge in many cultures, where a family may feel you’re dishonoring them by coming forward with your struggle or traumatic experience.

   This is where reaching out may be crucial for your mental and physical well-being.

   Again, it’s sometimes an issue within culture, NOT Islam.

2. Hindering recovery:

   Stigma and shame can make it more difficult for individuals to recover from addiction and trauma-related disorders.

   They may feel hopeless, worthless, or undeserving of help, which can prevent them from making progress in their recovery journey.

   Feeling or thinking it’s because they’re so weak or Allah is angry with them are all part of stigma and shame.

   Allah wants only good for us.

   We just need to manage the chemicals in our brains, our nafs and shaytan, just enough to move forward.

   Again, if you’re not getting the support you need, reach out inshAllah.

3. Increasing isolation:

   Stigma and shame can also increase feelings of isolation and loneliness.

   Individuals may feel like they are the only ones struggling with addiction or trauma, which can further reinforce feelings of shame and self-blame.

   DNS (dopamine, nafs and shaytan) drives addiction and one of the primary outcomes of addiction is isolation.

   It convinces you that nothing else is of interest.

   It’s just you and your addiction.

   I’ve found that food addiction, can have varying degrees of this effect, in that when I use to indulge in junk food, it would sometimes feel that it was just me and the food.

   Some of us don’t even want to be bothered while eating.

4. Worsening mental health:

   Stigma and shame can also exacerbate mental health symptoms, such as depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder to name a few.

   Individuals may experience negative self-talk, low self-esteem, and self-blame, which can contribute to feelings of hopelessness and despair.

   When I experienced my first panic attack, I blamed myself for years.

   If I had only done this or if I hadn’t done that, but the Prophet (PBUH) forbade this when he said,

   “If anything happens to you, do not say, ‘If only I had done such and such, then such and such would have happened.’ Say instead, ‘Allah decreed and what He wills He does, for ‘If only’ opens the door to the Shaytaan”

Chapter 12: Mind, Body, and Soul

36:07

Addressing addiction and trauma is critical for promoting overall health and well-being, as well as reducing the risk of long-term negative consequences.

Here are 4 reasons why addressing addiction and trauma is essential:

1. Improving physical health:

   Addiction and trauma-related disorders can have a significant impact on physical health, leading to a range of medical conditions and complications.

   Addressing addiction and trauma can help to improve physical health outcomes, reduce the risk of chronic diseases, and promote overall well-being.

   It’s another vicious cycle of having addiction and trauma negatively affecting one's health and then adding to that, a sedentary lifestyle and diet promoting insulin resistance, the root cause of the top non-communicable diseases of our time.

2. Enhancing mental health:

   Addiction and trauma-related disorders can also have a profound impact on mental health, leading to conditions such as depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

   Addressing addiction and trauma can help to reduce symptoms of mental health conditions, improve emotional regulation, and promote resilience.

   Again, pairing this with the Deen, and a proper diet, free of processed foods and incorporating exercise.

3. Improving relationships:

   Addiction and trauma can strain relationships with family, friends, and loved ones.

   Addressing addiction and trauma can help to improve communication, build healthy relationships, and repair damaged relationships.

   As we’ve learned throughout this series, many of the problems and challenges that we have among family and friends, stem from trauma and addiction; a product of unchecked DNS (dopamine, nafs, and shaytan).

4. Enhancing quality of life:

   Addiction and trauma can significantly impact an individual's quality of life, leading to feelings of hopelessness, despair, and isolation.

   Addressing addiction and trauma can help to improve quality of life by promoting recovery, building resilience, and supporting overall well-being.

Conclusion

38:09

As long as we make a daily effort to submit only to Allah and not our DNS, we can have success in this life and the next.

Contentment in this life and the next.

Great relationships in this life and the next, inshAllah.

Allah is the most merciful and shows mercy to those that show mercy to others.

If we’re finding ourselves impatient with ourselves and others, we can take what we’ve learned and be curious about our thoughts and actions instead of acting out on them,

Curious about why someone else says and does things that push others away.

InshAllah, we can now be proactive instead of reactive.

Our sins can trace back to addiction, our addiction is traced back to DNS, DNS is influenced by trauma, and trauma traces back to negative events, usually in childhood.

Through this series, we’ve attempted to reverse engineer why we sin, and why some of us lack motivation, focus, and patience.

But even if we apply what benefits us, and make a strong effort, every day, none of it will gain significant traction without remembering Allah and submitting to Allah while we work on ourselves.

The Deen is complete and perfect.

We’re not.

As Muslims, we have Iman, and that Iman is from Allah.

We should be grateful through actions and part of that action is taking care of the mind and body that Allah has loaned us inshAllah.

May Allah preserve us, give us ease, and give us success in this life and the next.

I hope this series has been beneficial.

Be sure to subscribe to my newsletter to get a more personal experience and exclusive information إن شاء الله

May Allah reward you for being curious,

and keep tying your camel.

Salamualaikum.

Muslims and Addiction Part 3/4: The Hidden Problem In Your Relationships

Asalamualaikum,

My name’s Farooq, and welcome to this get-together, ‘Muslims and Addiction Part 3: Addiction and Relationships.

If you haven’t already, check out parts one and two inshAalh, where we covered general addiction and ways to prevent and manage them.

We also learned about addiction triggers to recognize that moment of craving and how to control them.

Today, we’re gonna dig into addiction further by seeing how it affects relationships.

Whether it’s friends, coworkers, or family.

If you haven’t found your ‘why’ for motivating yourself to work on your addiction, maybe this get-together will help.

We now know the ill effects of addiction for the one with addiction, but now we’ll see how addiction can also hurt those around us.

We’ll see how the Internet, work, food, and even learning can unknowingly negatively impact those close to us.

All of our actions have an intention, and that intention is always for positive reinforcement.

Unfortunately, what appears to be positive for the one doing the action, may not be positive for someone else.

May Allah reward you for being curious,

Let’s tie our camel.

Chapter One: Avoiding Mirrors

“The term double life refers to the addicted person’s secret engagement with drugs, alcohol, or other compulsive behaviors, hidden from view, even in some cases from their own.” - Anna Lembke, Dopamine Nation.

It’s important not to confuse addiction with passion.

Sometimes we conflate the two.

Dr Gabor Mate distinguished the two very well when he says,

“Passion creates; addiction consumes—first the self and then the others within its orbit.” - Dr Gabor Maté, In the realm…

Being in IT, I like to refer to this concept as the blast radius;

The components that are impacted around the issue.

When consumed or enslaved by an addiction, it’s difficult to see the impact on others because our site is often turned inward toward ourselves and the addiction.

As we go through the information, try to identify ways in which your own addiction affects yourself and others.

Self-reflection is like looking in a mirror, with some of us avoiding mirrors for so long that we now mistake others as mirrors, avoiding them as well.

You know, the ones who try and let us know how our behavior is affecting us or them?

And then we get bent out of shape, retreat, and then avoid them.

As the saying goes, the truth hurts.

This has a deep meaning that I think’s been lost in hearing it so much.

The reason it hurts is because it reminds us of the pain that we’re trying to numb through our addictions and distractions.

Chapter Two: Lost In Buckets

Don’t quote vocally: Abu Huraira (RA) reported: The Prophet (SAW), said, “Fulfill the trust of those to whom they are due, and do not be treacherous to the one who betrays you.”

Addiction can strain relationships in many ways. Let's go over some examples:

1.Trust and Communication: Addiction can ruin the trust between people.

For example, imagine a brother who develops an addiction to haram websites.

As the addiction progresses, he may go into stealth mode and become secretive, lie about his Internet use, display mood swings, or even find dishonest ways to pay for it.

And once someone finds out, and someone always finds out, these actions can break trust and make it hard for others to communicate openly with him.

As a result, relationships become strained, and honest communication becomes challenging.

Let’s break down trust and communication a bit.

So what’s the importance of trust?

Trust forms the foundation of solid relationships.

It’s relying on and feeling confident in the honesty, reliability, and integrity of the other person.

Trust is one of the largest commodities that we have as human beings.

In Islam, trust, or Amaanah, is everything the individual is obliged to take care of, uphold and fulfill when it comes to the rights of others.

Everyone has rights, but when someone struggling with addiction engages in deceitful behavior, such as lying about substance use, certain behaviors, or breaking promises, it breaks down trust between them and their loved ones.

Rebuilding trust requires consistent honesty, transparency, and accountability.

Where the one with addiction needs to demonstrate a commitment to recovery and take steps to repair the damage caused by their actions.

This might involve being open about their struggles, following through on their promises, and consistently making positive changes in their behavior.

For me, being addicted to processed foods, my health was going down the drain, and I ended up unlocking insulin resistance.

This caused weight gain, brain fog, fatigue, and mood swings, which affected my family.

And as I mentioned in our previous get-together, I was also going through bouts of anxiety and panic attacks.

Trust is lost in buckets and gained in drops.

If a mother has a son struggling with a gaming addiction, he needs to actively work towards rebuilding trust by being honest about his actions, cutting out spending his lunch money or money to be used on something specific, on in-game purchases and downloadable content.

Over time, as he proves his commitment to recovery and consistently displays trustworthy behavior, trust can gradually be rebuilt within their relationship.

2. Communication

Good communication is super important in getting through the challenges of addiction.

Being open and honest allows someone to speak their mind, concerns, and emotions in a supportive and non-judgmental environment.

So how can addiction hinder communication?

Well, the person struggling with addiction may feel ashamed, defensive, or doesn’t wanna discuss their behavior or seek help.

They may struggle to properly communicate their needs and emotions because of the influence of the addiction.

On the other hand, loved ones may find it hard to address the addiction, because their afraid it might create a confrontation.

This could then inadvertently enable the behavior, which we’ll talk about in a minute.

To improve communication, we need to create a safe and empathetic space for open dialogue.

Now I know the term safe space, has gotten a bad rap lately, but only because it’s being abused by extreme political views.

There IS a practical use for a safe space when used in the proper context.

Part of that safe space is active listening, where both parties are fully present and engaged.

Where we listen without interrupting which validates each other's feelings, and trying to understand one another's perspectives.

Effective communication also requires avoiding blame or judgment and focusing on expressing concerns, and offering support.

I’ve done this with my own kids, for correcting behavior in general, and it’s worked out pretty well Alhumdulillah.

As a parent, I could just put my foot down and enforce everything, and say, “Because I told you so”,

But then I’d risk not preparing them to self-regulate later in life, making good decisions on their own.

I may even, by accident, wind up sprinkling in some trauma.

If we make the person feel shame or embarrassment, they’re more likely to retreat and isolate themselves, indulging in the addiction even more.

Even if you think you’ve removed the means of their addiction, they’ll either find a way or even replace it with another addiction because the cause of their addiction isn’t being addressed.

Now just a quick distinction between guilt and shame.

Guilt is the feeling that arises when we believe we’ve done something wrong or violated our own values or standards.

Like when we commit a sin.

It’s a healthy response that can motivate us to do the right thing, make amends, or learn from our mistakes.

Add to that Allah's mercy and forgiveness, and you’re setting yourself up to win inshAllah.

On the other hand, shame is a deeply rooted sense of being fundamentally flawed or unworthy as a person.

Unlike guilt, shame isn’t focused on specific actions or behaviors but instead, it’s focused on our inherent sense of self.

It can be very destructive and lead to feelings of isolation, self-judgment, and a negative self-image.

So, guilt is healthy for positive change, shame is unhealthy and paints us into a corner with what I like to call our DNS; Dopamine, Nafs and Shaytan.

Something else I came up with from IT.

Going back to the example of the mother and son, the mother can see how gaming has a harmful impact on her son's money, grades, relationships, and health.

And health, by the way, is one of the first things to take a hit with excessive gaming.

She can then initiate a conversation by expressing her concern for her son’s well-being, sharing observations of his behavior, and emphasizing her support.

By actively listening to her son expressing his thoughts and feelings without judgment, she can encourage open communication and a space where he feels comfortable discussing his struggles.

This approach of working together not only strengthens their bond with one another but also provides a foundation for supporting recovery and facilitating positive change.

In general, we wanna avoid the attack-and-defend method that many of us do subconsciously.

Where the mom might attack by saying, “Get up and get a job. All you do is play games all day. Grow up!”

And then he may defend with, “Well, maybe if you were a better mom and wasn’t always on your phone or shopping, I wouldn’t need to!”

The things we don’t articulate boil to the surface subconsciously with attacking and defending.

We cover emotional intelligence in part 4 of this series inshAllah.

Chapter Three: Blast Radius

Now let’s talk about Emotional Strain:

Emotional strain refers to the psychological and emotional burden that individuals experience as a result of their addiction or substance abuse.

It has a wide range of negative emotions and challenges that can arise from addictive behaviors and their consequences.

Examples are:

Emotional turmoil for both the individual and their loved ones.

Using food addiction as an example, let's say a sister has a husband who struggles with food addiction.

And when I say food addiction, I’m referring to processed foods since those are the only ones with addictive potential.

After some time, her husband’s addiction causes insulin resistance (which we’ll cover in the next series inshAllah), which in turn creates highs and lows in his blood sugar, causing him to experience mood swings, become irritable, or even engage in verbal or physical abuse.

If you recall, we learned about dopamine, in how it creates the anticipation of a reward and produces in excess with an addiction.

Well, insulin resistance can reduce the number of dopamine receptors, tipping our pleasure and pain balance to the side of pain, which causes us to lose our faculties of restraint.

Insulin resistance is also strongly linked to many mental pathologies, like bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, and Alzheimer's disease.

The emotional strain from all of this can be overwhelming for the wife and the family, as she worries about not only her husband’s well-being but her own and feels helpless because she can’t understand her husband’s behavior.

This, by the way, can create trauma for the wife and cause her to seek an escape by adopting her own addiction.

Then we have the Emotional Impact:

Although similar to turmoil, I’m referring to how addiction puts emotional strain on the loved ones of individuals experiencing addiction.

Family members, friends, and spouses can have a wide range of emotions, including worry, fear, frustration, anger, sadness, and helplessness.

Because witnessing someone they care about struggle with an apparent addiction can be deeply distressing.

Let’s say a brother has a wife who’s addicted to shopping.

He may constantly worry about their financial stability, her emotional well-being, and the potential consequences of her behavior.

He may experience a rollercoaster of emotions, ranging from anger and frustration at her actions to a deep concern for her overall health and happiness, as she puts shopping above everyone, including herself.

Dealing with emotional strain requires empathy, understanding, and support from everyone involved.

It’s very important for loved ones to offer compassion while also setting healthy boundaries to protect their own emotional well-being.

Jarir bin Abdullah narrated that the Messenger of Allah said: "Whoever does not show mercy to the people, Allah will not show mercy to him."

It may require a lot of patients when working with a loved one about their addiction, but it will definitely pay off inshAllah.

This approach works very well within a marriage inshAllah.

The alternative could have bad consequences.

Where the husband or wife has an addiction that’s harming their mental and/or physical health, and because neither of them or only one of them is even aware that addiction is the cause, they end up blaming or shaming each other.

With the attack and defend arguments that I mentioned.

In many cases, they separate or divorce.

To give an example with health, a wife might have a processed food addiction, possibly to cope with stress in the marriage and as a result gains weight.

Over time, she can see she’s gaining weight but has trouble losing the weight.

Both from the addiction and possibly insulin resistance.

The husband, out of lack of knowledge about health, addiction, or stress, may simply start looking for a second wife or divorce.

By not identifying and working through the causes of these trials, we’ll simply just recreate them again with someone else.

To be clear, this isn’t the cause for all brothers wanting a second wife.

Everyone has their own unique circumstances.

We just have to be careful inshAllah.

Especially if a brother just writes her off with, “salams Felicia, it’s from Allah.”

Almost done.

Chapter Four: Out Of Bounds

Neglected Responsibilities: Addiction can cause individuals to prioritize their addiction over their responsibilities, such as work, family, or personal commitments.

For example, consider another married couple, where the wife develops a social media addiction, leading her to spend excessive amounts of time on her phone.

She neglects her responsibilities as a wife and mother, leaving the husband and kids, burdened with the consequences.

This neglect strains their relationship, can traumatize the kids, and creates resentment.

Neglected responsibilities are a common effect of addiction on relationships, and they can have wide-ranging consequences. Let’s look at three examples:

1. Financial Responsibilities: Addiction can lead to neglecting our financial obligations, which can strain our relationships. For instance, I have a work addiction I wasn’t aware of some years ago. I like to call it the ‘entrepreneurial addiction’, where I was prioritizing my new business ventures over paying bills, saving money, or contributing to expenses. It lead to financial instability, debt, and disputes within my marriage, because I was rarely home and when I was home, I wasn’t emotionally or psychologically present. I was too busy thinking and planning in my head. Always preoccupied. You may be thinking, “Entrepreneurial addiction? Come on, brother…”. Yes, it can become an issue; pursuing a business of your own can become addictive, as novel ideas and visions of success and planning create dopamine. Chasing possibilities and opportunities, then eventually sabotaging myself unconsciously by not seeing it through so I have an excuse to move on to another new venture. In business, it’s called pivoting. Entrepreneurs like the process or the game more than the reward. It’s dopamine. Dopamine plays on what’s out there, in the ether, separate from us. Whereas the here and now requires other chemicals, like serotonin, that make us feel happy and content. Nir Eyal mentions in his book ‘Hooked’, how introducing variability creates a focused state, which suppresses the areas of the brain associated with judgment and reason while activating the parts associated with wanting and desire.” Once hooked on starting up, I would hit a plateau point of actually doing the work to maintain what I’ve started, I lacked the serotonin and self-awareness to be content and wound up starting over with another great idea, chasing dopamine. I couldn’t even enjoy time with my family. They were no match for my addiction, which had hijacked my dopamine production. It wasn’t until I learned about all this stuff that I realized I was really just trying to avoid real responsibility, like taking care of the family or answering to authority at a nine-to-five job. It doesn’t mean that changing ideas or starting over with another idea alone is addiction. It could be attention deficit disorder or ADD, or ADHD. Remember, It’s an addiction when it harms you or others, and you’re still not able to stop and make changes for the better. Don’t get me wrong, starting a business is great, but just make sure you do it on the side of a full-time job if you have others depending on you. And you also have to get comfortable with the fact that every successful entrepreneur had on average, seven failed businesses before hitting that success.

2. Parental Responsibilities: For parents, addiction can cause us to neglect our responsibilities towards our children. Like the example, I gave with the mother who’s addicted to social media and her phone. Compulsive use may lead to neglecting her children's needs, and failing to provide a safe and stable environment. This can result in emotional distress for the kids, impacting their well-being and creating a strained parent-child relationship. Whether we accept it or not, when we are in the presence of our kids, and we’re on our phones and not engaged with them, they see the phone as being more important than them. The most important thing for children is their parent's love, acceptance, and attention. This type of trauma imposed on the children increases their own risk of having an addiction later in life, as they turn to outside behaviors or substances to fill the void created by their parents or caregivers. This outside behavior, nowadays, is usually tv or some kind of mobile device.

3. Work or Academic Responsibilities: Addiction can significantly impact an individual's ability to fulfill their work or academic responsibilities. Haram websites and social media, play a big part in this aspect of addiction. As a brother’s addiction intensifies, he starts missing classes, neglecting assignments, and performing poorly academically. This can result in educational setbacks, and straining relationships with teachers, peers, and even family members who have high expectations for his academic success. This can also effect his job, because he lacks the motivation to work. Add to that, that most who are addicted to haram websites or social media, usually browse or scroll into the late hours of the night, resulting in poor sleeping habits, which snowball into poor eating habits and eventually into some form of depression or anxiety, further driving the addiction. As as a side note, males primarily look at haram websites being that males are more visual, whereas females are more emotional and drawn to reading them.

Chapter Five: Where In This Together

Codependency: In some cases, addiction can lead to codependent relationships, where one person enables the addictive behavior of the other.

For example, imagine a wife who has a husband struggling with an addiction to processed food and now has type-2 diabetes.

Despite his harmful eating habits, she constantly provides food that furthers his declining health.

She covers up the consequences of his actions, progressing diabetes, and the other health issues that go along with it, like hypertension and heart disease.

This codependent dynamic prevents both individuals from seeking proper help, and the relationship becomes centered around the addiction or illness rather than mutual support and growth.

Codependency doesn't require addiction but can exist in a relationship that has an addiction.

Growing up in a dysfunctional family where there’s addiction, abuse, neglect, or other unhealthy behaviors, can increase the risk of developing codependency.

And children who are raised in such environments may learn to prioritize the needs of others over their own, suppress their emotions, or develop a sense of responsibility for others' well-being.

A branch of codependency is Emotional Dependence,

where one person becomes overly reliant on the other for their emotional well-being, often sacrificing their own needs in the process.

Consider a scenario where a husband has a cannabis addiction.

The wife becomes consumed by his addiction and dedicates all her time and energy to managing his needs and emotional turmoil.

In this case, she neglects her own well-being and becomes emotionally dependent on his well-being, inadvertently enabling his addictive behavior by placing his needs above her own.

And then there’s Fear of Abandonment:

a deep-rooted fear of abandonment, leading her, the enabler, to go to extreme lengths to maintain the relationship, even if it means enabling destructive behaviors.

This fear can be fueled by the belief that without her support, her husband may spiral out of control.

She may feel an intense need to stay in the relationship, even at the expense of their own well-being.

Then adding to that, the person with the addiction makes the enabler feel guilty if they express a need to part ways out of frustration and pain.

Making others feel guilty is often a byproduct of substance addiction.

It’s vital to recognize codependency and its harmful effects.

Both individuals involved in a codependent relationship require support and intervention to break free from the cycle.

Breaking free from codependency allows both individuals to focus on their own well-being, support recovery, and develop healthier patterns of relating to one another.

It also encourages the person struggling with addiction to take responsibility for their actions and seek the necessary help to address their addiction.

Last chapter

Chapter Six: Holding A Burning Ember

“There is a secret for greater self-control, the science points to one thing: the power of paying attention.” - Kelly McGonigal

As we learn about addiction, how to identify them, how to manage them and how they affect those around us, we can see just how ingrained addiction can be in our lives and the live of others.

Even our Deen, because our actions affect our Iman, in either a positive way or a negative way.

The shayateen also act as enablers, using addiction as an effective way to take us away from Allah.

That’s why having knowledge of the Deen and self is important to protect us on all fronts inshAllah.

As Quran states in Surah Al-A’raf, regarding the response of Iblis, “I will approach them from their front, their back, their right, their left, and then You will find most of them ungrateful.”

Part of this is to make us feel hopeless or powerless.

Being overwhelmed by our addictions or having to constantly make decisions.

This drains us and can put us on autopilot where we then give in to addictive behavior.

I remember when I reverted to Islam, I had to read the ingredients label of everything I bought; making sure it didn’t contain pork.

It was a lot of work, but over time I knew what to eat and what not to eat.

“When your mind is preoccupied, your impulses—not your long-term goals—will guide your choices.” - Kelly McGonigal, Willpower Instinct.

It can be overwhelming when we find that we have to face our addictions, bad habits, bad health, poor relationships, etc, but we have to keep striving and struggling every day to improve.

Anas bin Malik narrated that the Messenger of Allah(PBUH) said: "There shall come upon the people a time in which the one who is patient upon his religion will be like the one holding onto a burning ember.”

Allah knows best, but it may be hard to hold, not because we don’t believe in Allah or the truth of Islam, but because we’ve been convinced by our DNS (dopamine, nafs and Shaytan) to give up.

This is one of the ways in how addiction eventually leads to depression.

Thinking, “It’s too much, or what’s the point in trying, there’s nothing we can really do about it.

Or why eat healthful foods, our time is already written anyways. May as well enjoy life.”

And we often hear of people that really like Islam and know it’s the truth, but are hesitant because they don’t feel they can practice it properly.

Maybe it’s similar for those that leave the fold of Islam, doing so out of feelings of shame, unworthiness or loss of control.

Addiction negatively impacts relationships sooner or later, but we all need to remind ourselves of the Quran and authentic Sunnah for guidance and come to know ourselves to make the necessary changes to follow that guidance.

InshAllah join me in the part 4, were we wrap up this series on addiction by uncovering the cause of addiction.

For example, why do some of us become addicted to social media, games and processed foods, while some don’t? We’ll uncover all of this and more inshAllah.

May Allah reward you for being curious

Keep tying your camel.

Muslims and Addiction Part 2/4: How I Control Addictions

Asalamualaikum,

my name’s Farooq and welcome to this get-together: Muslins and Addiction Part 2: How I Control My Addictions.

If you haven’t checked out my other video, Muslims and Addiction Part 1, I recommend you do so before continuing, so that you have proper context inshAllah.

So just In recent years, there’s been a growing interest in the role of neuroscience in understanding addiction and its triggers.

I’m going to show you a strategy that I use on a daily basis, that helps me keep a challenging addiction under control.

Now why would I say I’m going to show you a strategy that I use?

Why do I still need it?

Why haven’t I beat the addiction once and for all?

Well, addiction has a dark secret, and knowing this secret might shock you, but inshAllah it will also empower you.

May Allah reward you for being curious.

Let’s tie our 🐪

Chapter One: Fingers on the Triggers

Now I’m sure you’ve heard the word triggered

It’s used all over the internet, but usually in the context of anger.

So when someone refers to being triggered, they’re referring to someone getting triggered into a kind of rage.

I’m not referring to that kind of trigger.

InshAllah, I’m going to discuss Addiction triggers, which refer to any internal or external stimuli that lead to a person's addictive behavior.

Internal and external stimuli are the two ways in which dopamine is triggered to push us toward an addictive substance or behavior.

I think it might help if we go over some examples of internal and external stimuli, then I’ll share my own story and how I keep them under control.

There may be some overlap from the previous blog, but this can be good to help drive home the points.

There are three examples of Internal Stimuli:

1. Emotions: Specifically Strong emotions like stress, anxiety, depression, and loneliness.
   These emotions can trigger addictive behavior as the brain's reward system releases dopamine in response to these emotions.

2. Trauma: Traumatic experiences, be it verbal or physical abuse, or psychological or emotional neglect as a child, can cause the brain's reward system to release excessive amounts of dopamine - leading to addiction because it causes individuals to seek and recreate the pleasurable feelings associated with the initial dopamine surge.

3. Genetics: Some of us are just born with certain genetic factors that can make us more susceptible to addiction by affecting the way the brain processes dopamine.

It’s important to know that genetics don’t have to define us.

Many professionals like to give the example of genetics being the gun, and our diet and lifestyle being the trigger.

Now let’s look at four examples of External Stimuli.

1. Drugs and alcohol: Substance use can cause an over-stimulation of the brain's reward system, leading to addiction as individuals seek to recreate the pleasurable feelings associated with the substance they’re using.

2. Social environment: Peer pressure, social norms, and cultural factors can influence addictive behavior by promoting substance use as a way to fit in or cope with stress.

3. Technology: The use of technology, such as social media, video games, or online gambling, can lead to addiction as the brain's reward system is activated by the pleasure associated with these activities.

4. Food: Highly palatable foods, such as those that are highly refined containing seed oils, carbohydrates msg, and sugars, can activate the brain's reward system, leading to addiction-like behaviors, such as compulsive eating, and excessive snacking, referred to as grazing.

An example of our social environment as an external stimulus could be when trying to avoid sweets at get-togethers.
It’s essential to really understand that you are the average of your friends.

The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “A man follows the religion of his friend, so each one should consider whom he makes his friend.”

This includes who you want to become as a person, in regard to health, income, and family.

I’ll have a blog on this topic soon inshAllah.

Keep in mind that when I use the word compulsive, I’m referring to the inability to resist said substance or behavior.

Not to be confused with obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Chapter Two: He’s Our Open Enemy

All of these types of stimuli trigger dopamine when we're thinking of their associated addiction.

For example with sugar, an internal trigger might be a sense of feeling weak, shaky hands, light-headed, or being hangry.

An external trigger might be seeing, pizza, soda, or a donut.

These internal and external triggers will release dopamine, making you susceptible to consuming it even though it’s bad for you.

Add to that, shaytan whispering to you to eat it, and we may just find it impossible to resist.

And yes, shaytan promotes all behavior and actions that are harmful to us.

He’s our open enemy.

We can actually use this understanding to our advantage in helping us control our addiction.

One of the positives of addiction is that what works to control one, can work to control many because the most common addictions play on dopamine.

So all of these types of addictions can be reigned in with behavioral changes.

Alright, now let’s talk about my addictions,

I acquired several in my jahiliyyah.

I know it’s not good to expose my shortcomings from my jahiliyyah, seeing how Allah forgave me when I reverted to Islam,

but I feel compelled to share at least one from my past so that you know I’m speaking from experience and not just writing a prescription.

I also want you to know that I can truly empathize with you because I’ve been there and done just about anything you can think of before Islam.

That said, of these addictions, I’m gonna focus on one, because like I said, strategies that work for one, work for most of them inshAllah.

Chapter Three: My Early Vice

So what was one of the things I struggled with?

Nicotine.

I use to smoke many years ago starting at the age of 14, and the longer I smoked, the more I thought I’d never be able to quit.

It’s very difficult to quit.

Again, as much as I don't want to expose my previous shortcomings, I want you to know about it with the hope that you stay away from them, be it cigarettes, vaping, or hookah.

InshAllah, maybe you’re not dealing with nicotine, but maybe this video can help you control another substance or behavior.

Again, the same technique I used to quit nicotine, which is extremely addictive, I used to keep other addictions in check.

I’ll mention another shortly.

Chapter Four: The Method

“In large measure, who we are with respect to any choice is where we are, attentionally, in the moment before the choice.” - Robert B. Cialdini, Pre-Suasion

The first step was deciding once and for all to quit.

You can’t want to quit just because someone told you to, or just because it’s bad for you, because you may not be in the emotional context of even caring.

This is the beauty of blogs and videos.

If you don’t really care right now, inshAllah maybe one day you will, and these blogs and videos will be here for you when you do.

For me, I was just tired of being a slave to it all.

As Jim Rohn used to say,

“When the why becomes strong, the how becomes easy.” - Jim Rohn

So I found my why, and with Allah’s help, and a lot of trial and error, I found the solution to quitting.

For now.

More on that shortly.

First, I had to recognize my triggers and then avoid them.

Just until I was in the clear.

So once you’ve identified your addiction, find your triggers, the pre-events or thoughts that make us crave the addiction.

What cues do you receive that remind you of your addiction, producing dopamine?

This will take being in the moment and being mindful of your feelings and thoughts at the moment of craving.

For me, with smoking, my triggers were:

• Others smoking

• talking on the phone

• After a big meal

• When hungry

• While drinking coffee

• While bored

• When stressed

• And during or after a get-together

Let’s see how we can apply this to, let’s say a sugar addiction.

Which many of us are.

So using sugar as an example,

OK, for your friend, not you!

Some triggers might be,

• When others are eating or drinking sweets

• During gatherings

• While drinking coffee or tea

• After a meal

• When stressed

• When tired

• When bored

• When hungry

• After physical exertion

Does all of that sound familiar?

You’ll find the triggers for smoking were very similar to sugar.

Why?

Because most addictions create the same addictive pathways and pleasure centers in the brain, causing the production of dopamine.

Once you've identified your triggers, again, you want to avoid them until the physical cravings subside to a controllable degree.

You may need to dig in initially, but I promise the physical craving will pass inshAllah

Let’s continue with the sugar example.

In the beginning, you may need to forgo get-togethers.

Especially if people give you a hard time about it.

You know who you are.

They may not understand and think you're just on a "diet" to lose weight, but after a while, you get used to it.

Some will carry it for years, but it's all good.

You know who you are.

And who knows, inshAllah maybe they’ll get motivated to quit sugar as well, once they see the health benefits you're experiencing.

Second, if you have to have sugar in your coffee or tea, try cutting back down slowly until you're down to a teaspoon, then half a teaspoon, then switch to monk fruit or stevia.

I personally don’t like stevia but if you’re good with it, then go for it.

I like to use a little heavy cream in my decaf because it’s a little sweet but without sugar.

That’s right, I said decaf!

So, basically, you’d be using a substitution until the “sweet tooth” is under control.

Kind of like methadone, which helps people with heroin withdrawals.

Hmph! Sweet tooth.

Gotta love those fuzzy little terms for addiction.

Third, when stressed or bored, tell yourself to wait 20 minutes.

This strategy helps a lot, especially for people like me who are impulsive,

This distracts your mind just enough to slow the production of dopamine; which drives the craving.

Telling yourself that you can’t have something,

Will only make you want it more.

It’s like saying, “Don’t think of a polar bear.”

What did you think of?

So if you’re thinking, over and over, “I can’t have soda.”

What are the last words in your mind? ”…have soda”

But if you tell yourself to wait 20 minutes, you’re allowing yourself to free your mind and think of something else.

You’re simply putting it off, and 20 minutes is usually the amount of time for the temptation to pass.

I actually tell myself that I can have the dessert but I choose not to.

And Because our actions tend to follow our predominant thought, it’s very beneficial to make zhikker.

It keeps your mind focused on Allah and not temptation.

It’s nearly impossible to turn off our inner dialog, but we can control it with zhikker.

It's hard to think of two things simultaneously and coherently, so zhikker is key.

“The is a secret for greater self-control, the science points to one thing: the power of paying attention.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Willpower Instinct

It also protects us from Shaytan trying to tempt us.

Because remembering Allah is like stiff arming shaytan in the face.

I use to go for a walk or exercise during the 20 minutes but had to make sure I had a healthy, sugar-free meal ready afterward because exercise can make you hungry.

Which brings us to number four.

Meal prep.

Prep as many meals as possible so that when you’re hungry, you won’t grab any easily accessible junk food.

Preparation is key.

Number Five. Out of sight out of mind.

Make unhealthy choices invisible.

Many of us have family and not everyone in the family is ready to give up sugar.

But one thing we can do is make sure those foods are away in the pantry or, a safe.

If you have a second fridge in the garage, put it in there so you don't see it when going into your main fridge.

Now after identifying our triggers and having a strategy to harness the addiction, it's just one day at a time.

20 minutes at a time.

And again, don't beat yourself up if you give in.

Brush it off, and keep striving.

Otherwise, dopamine and shaytan will paint you into a corner.

I personally found that as long as I made it my daily struggle to win, turning off autopilot, and being in the moment, I was able to keep it under control.

Chapter Five: Addictions Big Secret

About four years ago, I quit sugar cold turkey and did strict healthy keto for 6 months.

I lost 45 pounds and put my decade-long battle with anxiety disorder in remission.

More on that in another blog inshAllah.

I was sleeping great and overall felt fantastic.

Then one day I felt the cravings again.

Not from apparent stress, no..my pain disguised itself as boredom.

You see, I use to sabotage myself when things were going well.

It would always seem too good to be true.

So instead of getting let down, I’d make things uncomfortable for myself.

More on trauma in part 4.

So when things are going well, be it work, my health, or were my finances, I‘d get uncomfortable.

I’d get bored.

Add to that Shaytan whispering to me to have just one little cheat meal, because he hates for us to have any meaningful progress in life.

So here I was feeling amazing, and the hardships of my bad health, prior to keto, long gone in the rearview mirror.

I had forgotten how bad it was.

Kind of like when a mother is in labor and thinking, “I’m never doing this again!”

But, Alhumdulillah, time heals and eventually most mothers will have a longing for another child.

One of the worst aspects of my health prior was my anxiety disorder,

Not only would I battle with anxiety and panic attacks almost on a daily basis, but I was also waking up in the middle of the night with anxiety, which always ended up with me pacing throughout the house, with a full-blown panic attack.

I wouldn’t wish those years on anyone.

But now I was bored.

So I thought to myself, I can have a bite or two of this pizza sitting here in the kitchen.

I looked around to make sure my kids weren’t around because they keep me in check.

They’ll ask me sometimes, “Dad, is that Keto?”

But no one was around, so I took a bite.

As soon as I bit into that slice of pizza, it was like my brain lit up.

The universe made sense, and all of the worlds were in harmony because I was once again comfortable feeling uncomfortable.

Then I wanted another slice.

Then I thought, “While I’m here, I may as well eat this cupcake that my wife brought home from the Masjid.”

I was binging.

And that brings us to addiction’s dark secret.

The pathways in our brains, that are paved by addiction, may never go away.

They lay in the cut, waiting for us to get stressed, or in my case….bored

It picks up right where we left off when we quit.

Even if it’s years later!

Alhamdulillah, I haven’t had nicotine for years.

I know the pathways are still there, and it’s possible if put in the wrong circumstances, my old triggers could return.

I highly doubt it, but I won’t say ‘never’.

I do my best not to get caught slippin’ by underestimating it.

May Allah protect us. 🤲🏾

So Back to my binging incident.

When we slip up and relapse, or what we like to call a “cheat meal” to feel better about ourselves, to our brain, it’s like we never stopped in the first place.

Studies, such as those done on rats,

have shown that changes in the brain, due to addiction, can be long-lasting, and in some cases, permanent.

These changes involve the brain's reward system, including the dopamine pathways, and can persist even after a period of abstinence, which contributes to the chronic relapsing nature of addiction.

So, I had to return to my keto horse and start over.

Chapter Six: Prevention Is the Best Medicine

Whatever your addiction may be, food, internet, gaming, music, exercise, work, or reading, yes reading, whatever brings pleasure — dopamine is there wanting more, along with Shaytan cheerleading it along.

But just remember that we’re created to fall off the wagon so that we turn to Allah for forgiveness.

Don’t let your DNS (Dopamine, Nafs, and shaytan) convince you that you’re a lost cause or too weak to win.

Because winning isn’t being perfect.

Winning is throwing your hat, kufi or hijab in the ring and trying.

The beauty of Islam is that its foundation lies in prevention, which, even according to science, is key when dealing with addiction.

Because It’s far easier to avoid addiction than it is to acquire one and then control it.

If you found this beneficial, please be sure to check out part 3 on Addiction and Relationships, where we see how even a sugar addiction can not only harm ourselves but also those close to us.

May Allah reward you for being curious,

Keeping tying your 🐪

Salamualaikum

Muslims and Addiction Part 1/4: This Is Controlling Your Motivation & Satisfaction

Asalamualaikum,

my name’s Farooq, and in this get-together, we’re going to discuss Muslims and Addiction Part 1: This Is Controlling Your Motivation & Satisfaction.

Now, you may be wondering if addiction is actually a thing within the Ummah.

Or maybe thinking, “Well, I don’t have an addiction…maybe some bad habits, but not an actual addiction.”

Well, as a Muslim who reverted to Islam a little over 27 years ago, I can tell you that it’s been a long and difficult journey.

Not with Islam, but with myself.

I’m talking about things like, “Why can’t I establish my prayers consistently, every day?”

“Why do I keep falling into the same sins over and over? Why am I drawn to negativity lately?”

Or how can I turn to Allah for forgiveness when I can’t even forgive myself?

We all might have these kinds of thoughts from time to time, some of us more often than others.

I would always tell myself it’s shaytan and just kind of dismiss it.

But deep down, I couldn’t help but think that maybe it was just me.

And thinking, “What’s wrong with me?”

Then after years of personal development and reverse engineering my shortcomings, I found that it is me, but not entirely me.

Now, what if I told you..that you and I have at least one addiction that is negatively affecting our physical and mental health, and ultimately our relationships, how we deal with others, and even our Iman?

What if I told you.. that a molecule in the brain mimics our Nafs and physically rewires our brain? Essentially, setting us up to fail.

And finally, what if I can show a connection between addiction…that molecule..and Shaytan?

This isn’t clickbait or bro science.

May Allah reward you for being curious.

Let’s tie our 🐪

Chapter One: My Kids Call It Boredom

Millions of people across the world are unknowingly submitting to addiction, which ultimately lowers the quality of our lives, and we as Muslims are included.

You might hear the word addiction, and illicit drugs might come to mind, like alcohol, cannabis, or even a type of opioid.

And that’s because we’ve been conditioned to associate the word addiction through an extreme lens when most of us are dealing with one or more severe and harmful addictions without even knowing it.

So what is addiction?

Dr. Anna Lembke, a well-known psychiatrist, defines addiction..in her book ‘Dopamine Nation’ as

“A state in which a person engages in a compulsive behavior or uses a substance despite negative consequences.”

and so this behavior or substance use becomes the person's main priority, negatively affecting their relationships, work, or other vital areas of life.

I would add, for us as Muslims, our Deen.

Again, this is usually due to the fact that we don’t even know we’re addicted to said behavior or substance.

Many of us don’t even know that certain foods we eat are, in fact, addictive substances.

Dr. Gabor Matè, in his book ‘In the Realm of hungry ghosts,’ defines symptoms of addiction as follows:

• compulsive engagement with the behavior, a preoccupation with it. So what you find yourself doing often

• An impaired control over the behavior. You’re unable or find it very difficult to avoid the behavior.

• A persistence or relapse despite evidence of harm. This especially holds true if you’re aware that you’re harming yourself, physically or mentally, or even harming others, and you still continue to persist or relapse.

• And finally, a dissatisfaction, irritability, or intense craving when the object—be it a drug, activity, or other goals—is not immediately available.

Or what many of us, especially the youth, like to call boredom when a mobile device or tv isn’t available.

Chapter Two: What You Don’t Know Can Hurt You

So here are some common addictions that, unfortunately, are on the rise all over the world.

Let’s conduct a self-audit and see if any of the following pertain to you.

1. Substance Abuse: Includes the use of drugs, such as opioids, alcohol, nicotine, and other substances that can lead to addiction.
   Some of those are something you may have never considered, such as processed foods (refined sugar, msg, seed oils, etc).

2. Gambling: This is a behavioral addiction where a person is unable to control their urge to gamble, even when it causes harm to themselves or their loved ones.
   Un-Fun Fact: Many of the free mobile games, one that I play included, use patented gambling algorithms to get the player to make in-game purchases.

   Even within the gaming community, I often hear people use the term ‘Whale,’ a gambling term used to describe a big spender.

   I’ll be doing a video on this topic in more detail soon inshAllah.

3. Internet and Technology: Also referred to as Digital Drugs in a lot of the psychology literature, they can contribute to addictive behaviors, such as compulsive use of social media (which I’ll cover in the next chapter), gaming, and internet browsing.
   These behaviors, such as scrolling on your favorite social media app, release a molecule in the brain (which we’ll cover shortly), similar to illicit drugs which lead to addiction.

4. Food Addiction: This refers to an unhealthy relationship with food, often characterized by compulsive overeating, binging on foods that are made up primarily of highly processed carbohydrates and sugar, and experiencing cravings and withdrawal-like symptoms when trying to abstain from those foods.
   And! Not only are these foods addictive, but they’re also one of the primary causes of many diseases, such as type-2 diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease.

   These processed foods, containing seed oils and refined sugars, have the most significant negative impact on our health today—especially Muslims.

   InshAllah, more on that in another video when we’ll discuss insulin resistance.

5. Haram Websites: I try to keep my videos family-friendly and a bit cryptic, if you know what I mean.
   This is an addiction that involves compulsive engagement in physical activities or consumption of haram websites, despite harmful consequences on a person's relationships, work, school, or other aspects of life.
   Un-Fun Fact: Haram websites are notorious for destroying ambition and motivation.

   It also creates devastating consequences for the youth when they later come of age to start a family. May Allah protect us. 🤲🏾

6. Shopping: This compulsive buying disorder involves an uncontrollable urge to shop and spend money, usually leading to financial problems and emotional distress.

Not just for the addict but for the family as well. Now I want to just mention quickly, in that we don’t want to confuse an addiction with a habit.

A habit is a routine of behavior repeated regularly and tends to occur subconsciously; it’s more of an automatic reaction to a specific situation.

We can have habits that are beneficial (like brushing your teeth) or detrimental (like biting your nails when you're stressed), like me!

However, unlike an addiction, habits don’t typically interfere significantly with a person's life.

Like having significant consequences, withdrawals, or tolerance like with addiction.

Chapter Three: The Molecule of More

So what is this molecule I mentioned?

Well, there’s a molecule in our brain, also known as a chemical or neurotransmitter, that’s made up of carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and a single nitrogen atom.

or otherwise known as… Dopamine.

Now.. you may have heard of dopamine or even know a bit about it, but hear me out,

I want to discuss it from a Muslim perspective.

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that helps send messages between nerve cells in the brain.

It’s often called the "molecule of more" because it’s involved in making us want things and pursue goals, which is an essential reward system that motivates us to do stuff.

Like finding a spouse, earning a living, or even doing a good deed.

But sometimes, this reward system can get out of balance.

That's where addiction comes in.

You see, the thing with Dopamine…is that it’s never satisfied.

It feeds the void that we all have within us, only instead of satisfying the void’s hunger, it makes it hungrier. It reminds me of a hadith where

It was Narrated by Sahl bin Sa`d:

I heard Ibn Az-Zubair who was on the pulpit at Mecca, delivering a sermon, saying, "O men! The Prophet (SAW) used to say, "If the son of Adam were given a valley full of gold, he would love to have a second one; and if he were given the second one, he would love to have a third, for nothing fills the belly of Adam's son except dust. And Allah forgives he who repents to Him."

SubhanAllah, that sounds a lot like dopamine!

I can’t help but think of Dopamine as a physical representation of our Nafs.

Steven Pressfields book, “The War of Art,” is about what he calls ‘The Resistance’ which describes as an internal struggle—it's that voice inside that tells you to procrastinate, that instills fear and doubt and comes up with excuses why you shouldn't do your work.

Especially work in a moral or spiritual sense.

As Muslims, we would think of this concept as our Nafs,

In science, we’d think of it as Dopamine.

Coming back to the Internet and technology addiction, they’re designed to release dopamine in the brain.

As we scroll through posts, videos, or even wallpaper apps, that constant context switching from one post to another releases dopamine; it’s released when we anticipate a reward.

It’s like a slot machine, roulette table, or even bingo… that waiting for the result fires dopamine.

This concept is also known as prediction error, but we can deep dive into dopamine in another blog if it interests you inshAllah.

Now let’s compare dopamine and our Nafs: Kind of a side-by-side comparison.

They’re both involved in reward and pleasure

• Motivation and reinforcement

• Movement and motor control, which is a basis for survival

• Cognition and attention, also survival.

• Mood and emotional regulation.

• and the ability to lead us to temptation and evil.

It’s like they’re roommates!

This is encouraging because it lets me know there’s a physical aspect of myself that I can control to a degree.

You know what I mean? Like, maybe it’s not all supernatural and out of our control.

Chapter Four: That Moment of Wanting

Our brains try to keep a balance between pleasure and pain.

This balance is also known as homeostasis.

One of the several needs we have as humans are the need for pleasure and to avoid pain.

When we do things that make us feel good, our brains release dopamine, which increases pleasure.

But when we experience pain or discomfort, our brains release chemicals that decrease pleasure.

This balance helps enables us to be content and healthy.

However, in trying to keep that balance, the brain adapts to the constant influx of dopamine caused by our addictions by reducing the number of dopamine receptors, which are responsible for receiving dopamine signals.

So this causes a decrease in the brain's ability to experience pleasure and an increase in the need for the substance or behavior to achieve the same effect.

This phenomenon is known as dependence or tolerance, leaving the addict having to continue using just to feel normal.

That decrease in the brain’s ability to experience pleasure can create physical pain or surface in the form of discomfort, anxiety, or boredom.

For example, when you’re stressed, tired, or bored, that moment of wanting is our brain’s pleasure balance tipped to the side of pain.

Craving equals pain, so what starts as an attempt to manage pain turns into a new source of pain.

It’s a vicious cycle.

Chapter Five: The Three Amigos

So maybe now that we covered what addiction is and isn’t (in the case of habits), and identified one or more possible addictions for ourselves, we can see how hard it is to resist addictive substances like sugar or addictive behavior like scrolling on social media or checking emails and messages.

Even after identifying our addictions, it’s challenging to get them under control.

It’s a daily struggle.

Now imagine someone encouraging and promoting those addictions while going through those struggles.

We don’t have to imagine that someone we know such a creation exists ….shaytan.

The Shayateen are constantly whispering to us, adding to the side of pain on our pain and pleasure scale and reminding us of our addictive behaviors to spike dopamine.

They know our inclinations and dopamine triggers (which I cover in another video)

And then drive those dopamine-producing actions and behavior forward…with just a whisper.

I like to call them DNS; dopamine, Nafs, and shaytan.

Chapter Six: Knowledge is Power…and Hope

Yes, we’re created weak, but not deficient.

We’re supposed to have weakness in our armor.

We’re supposed to feel guilty because we’re supposed to then turn to Allah and ask for forgiveness.

But we also have to forgive ourselves.

Too often, I allowed shaytan to convince me that I was supposed to be perfect.

That I should never want to seek out any pleasure and never have any vices or addictions,

These traits could easily qualify as a perfect person and ultimately lead to a sinless life.., but it’s not reality.

Abu Hurrah (May Allah be pleased with him) said:
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "By the One in Whose Hand my soul is! If you do not commit sins, Allah would replace you with a people who would commit sins and seek forgiveness from Allah; and Allah will certainly forgive them."

So while we struggle daily to control our Dopamine, Nafs, and ask Allah to protect us from the evil whispers of Shaytan, I’ve found it critical to gain knowledge of the Deen and myself.

It was one of the ways that I was able to turn off the autopilot that was set by my addictions and be more in the moment, thinking things through.

As for the details and strategies that I used to control my addictions, based on research and personal experience, be sure to read Muslims and Addiction Par 2: How I Control Addiction.

May Allah reward you for being curious and keep tying your 🐪

Salamualaikum!